Wednesday, 16 July 2014

I can't stop admiring the quotes of zeeva

I can't stop admiring the quotes of zeeva
Officer Ziva David: [McGee is dismantling a network server] What can I do to help, McGee?
Special Agent Timothy McGee: You can stop touching things when you're not grounded.
Officer Ziva David: Okay, sorry. Hack away, you won't even notice me here.
Special Agent Timothy McGee: Okay, but you're standing on my foot

Officer Ziva David: Lt. Commander Wilkinson drives a 2002 silver Jetta.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Figures...
Officer Ziva David: What figures?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Chick car.
Officer Ziva David: Meaning?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: There are guy cars and there are chick cars. It's a known and irrefutable fact.
Officer Ziva David: Was it a government study?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It's just a thing you know, you don't know how you know it, you just do. Sebring, Liberty, Jetta and Bug; whole VW line are all chick. Mustang, Camaro, Escalade, PT Cruiser: all guy. Hummer is very guy, but with adequacy issues, and then there is some that go both ways.
[Officer David steps on the breaks and points at a silver car]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It's an Accord, not a Jetta. But, case in point, Mini Cooper and Accura follow the same category.
Officer Ziva David: Uff, you've giving this a lot of thought, it's very sad.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Then there is the Miata, it's a special case: Leans to chick, but can go guy, usually means he's in denial, though. STOP!
Officer Ziva David: Gladly, if it means I don't have to listen to your automobile gender issues.

Officer Ziva David: Who's on the phone?
Danny: Uh, my girlfriend.
[Ziva takes the phone]
Officer Ziva David: [flirtatiously] Hi...
Officer Ziva David: Oh, my God! Don't touch me there!
Danny's Girlfriend: What?
Officer Ziva David: He's gonna have to call you back. Bye.
Danny's Girlfriend: What? Wait a sec...!
[Ziva hangs up the phone]
Officer Ziva David: [to Danny] You're busted.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [after entering Wilkerson's house] Nice job with the lock by the way.
Officer Ziva David: Thank you, it was a very simple pin-and-tumbler design.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: So are handcuffs. But I bet you couldn't get out of a pair.
Officer Ziva David: Are you saying, you'd like to handcuff me, Tony?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It's not *really* my thing, Ziva.
Officer Ziva David: I see. You're the one who likes to be handcuffed, then, huh?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [quietly, to Ziva] Will you please calm down. This guy is a little jumpy, and nervous, so just relax. No sudden moves, all right?
[Ziva removes her cuffs, kicks the security guard's gun away, and pins him to the floor, aiming the gun at his chest]
Security Officer Chuck Parnell: No, no! Don't shoot! Don't-don't shoot!
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Nobody's gonna shoot anyone. Right, Officer David?
Officer Ziva David: He called me a dirtbag.
Security Officer Chuck Parnell: [whimpering] I'm sorry, ma'am.
Officer Ziva David: [angrier] "Ma'am?"
[Tony facepalms]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Ziva's driving as they're searching for Wilkerson's car] Just out of curiosity, who taught you to drive?
Officer Ziva David: I did!

Ross Logan: Look, our best hackers haven't been able to track this guy.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You haven't met our hacker.
Ross Logan: He's good?
Officer Ziva David: Does a bear sit in the woods?
Ross Logan: [slight chuckle] Are you the crackerjack team on this job?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: She's Israeli.
Officer Ziva David: Look, I know I got the bear thing right.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Gibbs quickly accelerates the car] Where we going now, Boss?
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: The mall!
Officer Ziva David: And they have a problem with *my* driving?

Security Officer Chuck Parnell: Make any sudden moves, I shoot. Do we understand each other?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Okay, relax, Quick-draw. We're feds.
Security Officer Chuck Parnell: Yeah? What agency?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, Officer Ziva David: NCIS.
Security Officer Chuck Parnell: Never heard of it.
Officer Ziva David: Naval Criminal Investigative Ser...
Security Officer Chuck Parnell: Never-heard-of-it.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [sighs] You never actually get used to that. You think you will, but you never do.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Enough about me. Let me guess: Pilates?
Officer Ziva David: Very good, Tony.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I *am* an investigator, it's kind of what I do.
Officer Ziva David: Mm-hmm.
[puts her feet on her desk, her feet are covered with tape and blood]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I thought you said you were doing Pilates?
Officer Ziva David: Isn't Pilates one of your Martial Arts?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: No. It's kind of like expensive stretching.
Officer Ziva David: Mm. Well then, I guess I wasn't doing a Pilate.
[starting to take the tape off her feet]
Officer Ziva David: Mind giving me a hand with this?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yes I do. Whose blood is that?
Officer Ziva David: Not mine.

Security Officer Chuck Parnell: Cuff yourself to him.
Officer Ziva David: I'd rather you shoot me first.

Danny: Dude, there's no such thing as "genital cuffs."
Tim: But what if there is? I mean, dude, these guys aren't even cops, they're, like, some secret federal agency! Did you see the way that chick was playing with her knife?
Danny: Yeah... it was kind of hot, like Salma Hayek in "Desperado."
Officer Ziva David: [appearing behind them] Never saw that.

Officer Ziva David: Don't worry, Abby. Sometimes you can't see the jungle for the ferns.
Abby Sciuto: Uh... right.

Ross Logan: I run this chapter of the PBJ.
Officer Ziva David: Peanut butter and jelly, right?
Ross Logan: Actually, no. It stands for Perverts Brought to Justice.

Ross Logan: Our best people haven't been able to crack these emails.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You haven't met our cracker.
Ross Logan: Is he good?
Officer Ziva David: Does a bear sit in the woods?
Ross Logan: Are you the crackerjack team on this case?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: She's Israeli.
Officer Ziva David: Look, I know I got the bear thing right.

1 comment:

  1. If you need your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (no matter why you broke up) you gotta watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Have your ex CRAWLING back to you...?